Do you fear about giving birth?
A few days ago the world day of home childbirth was celebrated .
My baby was born at home, like many babies in the history of humanity, and it was a wonderful experience. My intention today is not going to create controversy about whether or not I delivered at home.
I would like to share something that fascinates me: the fear of childbirth.
Since I was very young I have heard all kinds of histories about labour and delivery, deliveries and births, let’s not forget the other great protagonist, the baby. Also we have to take care about medias have done, for instance, tv series, films, etc. in which women in labor scream as if their lives depended on it.
Instrumental deliveries and births, from ruptured membranes, abandonment of the woman and the baby, ruptures of the bag, contempt, and a long etcetera that every woman who has lived through it is willing to tell.
Where does that desire come from?
From the necessity.
From the need to bring out and heal a grief, a grief from the wonderful birth that she had imagined, expectations that were not met, for example, she did not feel her baby come out for any reasons, that she was mistreated in any way… Powerless, rage, pain, anger, sadness, frustration lots of emotions she is not usually allowed to live, to pronounce… because it is not the right time…but she needs to talk about… and, here it is, a pregnant woman who is willing to hear about birth. And she is going to relate her detailed delivery, she needs to tell to someone. To share her experience. But a pregnant woman is not the right listener.
This pregnant woman can’t get out of her head what so many other mums have told her. The mind does not stop sending her thoughts that promote fear. Fear of an experience that would have to be one of the best of her life.
If, in addition, we add the generalized fear that our society has of pain. We have a complete pack.
Pregnancy, if it is desired with the depth of being, if it is lived in connection with oneself and with the baby, in security and confidence, is the period in which life shines the most in every way.
But, if we live in constant fear, thinking about the hypothetical birth. In something future that we don’t know how it could be, because there are no two women alike, two babies alike, or two births alike, we are no able to enjoy a period of pure creation and love. We are missing a fundamental part of the life of the being that we carry within.
Pregnancy is an ideal period to learn to take responsibility for your life.
We live like children in adult bodies. Now is the time for you to be an adult and take care of your baby.
A baby needs a safe, confident and sensitive mother. A baby needs a safe environment, without fear, calm, peaceful, calm and lulled. A mother needs a trusting, secure and sensitive partner who supports her and covers her in these important and unique moment that will be the basis of the adult that baby becomes.
What happened to someone else does not have to happen to you. As someone else lives it, it doesn’t have to be your experience. It all depends on you and your emotional maturity.
Knowing what you want and what you don’t want, how far you are willing to let yourself be carried away by others or being the one who takes the initiative, the one who takes charge of your life. Everything is in You.
Let’s trust ourselves, in our creative power. We are human, our body is designed to the millimeter to shelter a life, let it be born and nurture it.
Doing it from love is much richer, smoother, easier, than from fear and it can be done. I did. It is true that in order to experience it in this way, I previously did very intense personal work, sometimes painful but enriching. It’s possible. You are on time… and, do not forget. You are not alone. You can have a Doula.